Feeling Safe

In order to feel really safe with someone (long term) you have to feel safe with yourself first. You have to be able to say No. And Yes. You have to be able to articulate your wants and needs in a way that they can understand you. And be able to trust yourself to respond apropriately if you see evidence that they are not able to do the same in return.

What that looks like is up to you. But if you can't see your patterns and be open to looking at the truth in your situation, you might find that your own mind is tricking you into feeling safe. This could be because you're desperate for it, or have a habit of glossing things over in order to have hope for the good in people. These are not necessarily bad traits - but they do tend to leave you caught unaware when the truth comes out.

Think abou the last time you felt safe - who was it with? Why did they make you feel safe? Do they still make you feel that way, and if not - why?

Taking a look at your previous experiences can tell you a lot about where you're at and if you're doing anything that is contributing to feeling safe with someone, or hindering it.